Leaving Inner Space

It’s been two years now

Since you said your last goodbye

And I still can’t find the strength

To move on and let you go

From that moment when I saw you

Lying lifeless inside that gloomy room

I know for sure,

I will never be okay

never again in this lifetime

That painful moment, I so wanted to hate you

Hate you for not fulfilling your promise

Of growing old with me

Hate you for leaving me that fast and sudden

I wanted to loathe the fact of you coming into my life

I wanted to scream at you, shout at you

Blame you for this never-ending pain you’ve caused my heart

I wanted so bad to stop my heart from loving you

But honey, I truly can’t

Believe me, I can’t

For how can I get mad at the only man

Who taught me how it’s like to love unconditionally?

How can I hate the only guy who made me feel so much loved and taken cared of?

How can I fill my heart with fury for that one special person

Who showered me with so much affection and kindness?

And yes, how can I truly abhor those wonderful memories you and I had shared

If those were my life’s greatest recollection?

Indeed, the memories of our love were the finest chronicles of my existence

You may have left me out of the blue

And I might never see you again in this lifetime

But honey, be rest assured that you’ve already brought my heart with you there in heaven

My dear, you forgot to give it back to me when you left

But that’s fine…

In fact, I demand that you keep it forever with you

And I promise you I’ll take good care of your heart with me

My love, time may pass me by

And I might never get up again from this painful mire

And yet, I will not care a bit

For I know, I believe in my very heart

That after this throbbing chapter of my being

I will finally be happy again

I’ll finally stumble on that rainbow of happiness again

And that, my honey, will happen

If I lose my breath and never open my eyes anymore

For only in my death, could I ever find you again

Only in my death, could I again kiss you and embrace you tightly

Only when I finally say goodbye to this world

Could I ever find my true happiness again

And that’s when we’ll be together once more

Allow me to cry and shed my tears for you today

For not long after this day, I’ll be showing my lovely and precious smile again

And yes, that will happen in another lifetime

In another lifetime where our hearts will be united in love again

Go on my dear

Go on and play your lyre now

Sing our favorite songs with your fellow angels

And I’ll go on sail my ship now

I still have a long journey to take

But I promise you,

I’ll never loose sight of that star

Which symbolizes your eternal love for me

Don’t worry about me, my love

I promise you, I’ll try to carry on

Through the power of our eternal love

I know, I’ll make it through

Goodbye for now, my dear

Until we meet again



10-21-02